Regardless of the fact that this is merely an outlet of creative and personal writings that at this point hasn't been released to many people, I find it therapeutic in nature to write down these thoughts and hopefully preserve this mindset for the future for me to reflect on.
I stopped blogging after only a short while because I felt, as I sometimes do in life, that there wasn't much going on in my life interesting enough to read. As I sat outside on the deck yesterday, I realized how much actually happens in a day and what the concept of 'a day' really means. As I age, time becomes more and more irrelevant. A year is just four seasons, an hour only a short while. In the last few months I've been preparing to move and study at the University of California: Santa Cruz. I was shocked to be admitted to the school after a sub-par performance in the black-hole that is the California Community College system -- I squeaked out a 2.67 GPA in classes that should have been straight A's. I've always been a procrastinator and someone who doesn't take classes that I find "useless" as seriously as I should, but ever since I decided I would major in Anthropology I've taken all of those classes very seriously and done well, the problem was all of the first two years of non-anthro courses were C level effort. Anyhow, I am ecstatic to be given the opportunity to continue my education and hone my skills at such a great and beautiful university.
Yesterday I was able to lock down a quiet, beautifully located master bedroom for my girlfriend and our dog and I to live in for our first year at UCSC. As a community college student transfering to a UC as a junior, I'm excited to see what 'real' college is like, and how challenging my upper-div anthro courses will be. Santa Cruz is a beautiful area with lots of quirky and fun cultures, but I have heard of a darker side of the city that has fallen to gang violence, crime, and culture. I'm fascinated to see this side of Santa Cruz as an anthropologist, but saddened that such a great city has been effected by gang-life.
In addition to me getting what I consider a second chance at education, I've taken the opportunity to better myself by focusing on smaller achievable goals with poker, and it's really paid off in ways I've never seen before. I began reading Phil Gordon's Little Gold Book and I am floored by the level of understanding that is easily brought to the reader, it's an invaluable source. With that book, more dedicated focus, and the help of my usual guardian-angels of poker, I've really taken my game to the next level and will be playing higher stakes come October or so. My goal is to stabilize a 10%+ ROI (return on investment) over another 1,000 games or so before I can re-evaluate my games and style. I've recently run into much more success in Small stakes MTTs (multi-table tournaments) than ever before, having 4-5 final tables in the course of two days, with a half-dozen or so of top 20 finishes peppered in a week. After we move and get settled I'll be able to devote more time to playing and mastering my current games.
Enough ranting, the above is merely a recap of some of the things I've been doing since I launched this blog, but I was inspired by a friend of mine to resurrect this blog from it's digital grave and keep it going. Reading my own writing seems dull, but when I look at life stories, adventures and anecdotes of others I am enthralled beyond belief. I don't know if it's general human curiosity that leads me down this path or my specialized interest in people - but none the less, It's kick started me to continue to write. I am proud of those I call my group of friends, and to see them grow and learn about the world and change their perspectives is incredible. I've had friends who were close-minded, hurtful, and self-destructive become some of the most inspiring and upbeat people I know. I've watched people as socially awkward as I was during my peak World of Warcraft days bloom into philosophers, video game designers, incredible athletes, teachers and students. I am overjoyed that they have all found their paths in life, and will continue to watch them and myself grow and find new passions.
Following in suit of the blog-inspiring Dealion, I too would like to reflect on the days in my life when casting spells and killing monsters was the prime of my life. I was, without doubt, a south-park-esque (although I despise the show for multiple different reasons) World of Warcraft nerd. I played all day, every day. I spent more time in front of a computer screen than I did sleeping, being outdoors and hanging out with physical people combined. I lived vicariously through my characters as both an escape from reality and a way to compete in a world where my physical attributes couldn't hold a stick to my virtual skills. What I lacked in a social life I made up for in a virtual life, I had dozens of close friends, and was considered by most to be an above average player. I let my actual life degrade in school, friends and activities and threw all of my efforts into bettering a virtual rendition of myself. Now, looking back on it, I can say that I do not regret this point in my life as many think I should. I learned a whole lot about the world I was actually living in, the people in it, and the way that anonymity changes people. I spent many nights talking with my friends in ventrillo, having the time of my life and becoming close with people that I had never met, yet knew me better than anyone I saw on a day-to-day basis. I learned how people will fabricate illustrious visions of how their real-world lives were when there was no need to (We've all met the 30 year old marines who kick the crap out of anyone who gets in their way, haven't we?). Most of all, I take away a sense of perspective from my WoW days. I was given the opportunity to see what people cherished, what they valued, and how they saw the world in a raw way, unadorned by fashion, appearances, social-status, sexual preference, and other issues that get in the way of finding out how a person sees the world. I will never regret making these bonds and widening my network to people around the world, who have showed me things I never would have seen had it not been for the internet's far reach. Now, several years later and socially light-years away from where I was in my early highschool years, I find those skills still help me in finding out who a person really is. While I've traded playing countless hours in a fictional world for meeting people in the 'real world'* I can say that I enjoy the small things a computer screen does not offer much better.
*Note: I personally think the term "real world" to describe the non-virtual is a little off. From my experiences the people I've met and the adventures I shared with people online were very much real, and for a long period of time, my friends online were much better friends than the ones I had in the physical world. I understand it's an easy phrase to use to distinguish between the two, but I don't agree with it's meaning.
